i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
