I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
