haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
