My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
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This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
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Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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