I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
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Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
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Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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