So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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