dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
