i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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