She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
