we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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