Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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