yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
