But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
