M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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