I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
