new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
