No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.