Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
where are you?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately