Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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