I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize