Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.