Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
