Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
