I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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