What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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