No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
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