now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
