high people should be assigned attendants
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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