I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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