why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
