We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
