hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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