not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
