Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
