I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
