I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
