no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize