I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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