I'm going to jail i love you
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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