but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
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Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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