Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
