I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
