He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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