the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
where does the pee come out of this thing
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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