franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
