This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
