I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
