Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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