East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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