I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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