I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
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I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
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It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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