Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she looked like the before picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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