420 ftw
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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