so explain again why im purple
no
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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