Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
