so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
