So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
