That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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