i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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