And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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