How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
