Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
