I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
3 2 1 whiskey
The power of my boobs compel you
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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