Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
