you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
