It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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