No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
