yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
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I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
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I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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